perfect time
by ThisIsNotPretend
Summary: Looking both ways before crossing the street is no laughing matter.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue  
>Carry Me Home<p>

_You've got to be fucken' kiddin' me!"_

Green.

_The stupid bitch can't just dump me like that! No fucken' warning at all!_

Green.

_That bitch told me she loved me._

Yellow.

_And I fucken' believed her!_

Red.

_**SCHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!**_

"Holy shit!"

This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. _This isn't happening!_

Hidan fumbled with the car's doorknob before opening it and practically falling out. He quickly picked himself off and ran in front of his car. His face full of shocked fear as his eyes laid upon another person. "_Fuck_! This really _is _happening!"

He crouched down in front of the girl, the headlights of his car making her skin look even paler than it already was. His eyes searched all over her body for cuts, blood, or any body parts bending in a way they shouldn't. Hidan wasn't no doctor but, he knew a fucked up body part when he saw it.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her not too gently. "Hey! Hey! Girl wake up, don't be dead please, I ain't no where near a good place to bury you." Hidan started mumbling to himself looking up and around as if actually _looking _for a place to bury her if she really was dead.

"Nghh…"

Hidan's head practically whipped over to the girl so fast it could been mistaken for some ghost breaking his neck. "Hey you're alive! OmiJashin fuck yes!"

The girl's eyes slowly creaked opened revealing dark forest green orbs. She slowly opened her mouth, beginning to say something and Hidan leaned closer—eager.

Ever so slowly she began to whisper.

"…_I…. hope y-you… have…. a lawyer…."_

Oh yes, Hidan was certainly screwed.

* * *

><p>Well , this chapter <em>was<em> supposed to be longer but , in the end I got lazy && decided to just post it like this . && I'm sure by now you all know who the girl he hit with his car is ;) . && if you don't well you'll find out in the next chapter because it'll start out as the girl's point of view before she got hit . Anywho I hope you enjoyed this little one page shit prologue xD it ain't much but , it's a small beginning of a very big thing :3 R&R por favor lol .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Sakura turned another corner, bringing her to walk on the main street running through the neighborhood she was passing through. She shoved both her hand into her thin gray jacket, letting out a little sigh as her hands gained some warmth before she gripped on to her cell phone, bringing it out to check the time. She pressed the button at the top and an irritated looked spread across her face 12:47am.

'damn Ino' Sakura thought grudgingly, shoving her hand back into her pocket along with her phone.

She looked back up, squinting her eyes at the street name at the upcoming intersection. Once she read it she sighed, 'at least I'm almost home.'

The streets were silent except for a low breeze and crickets chirping. Barely any cars were passing by. Sakura was walking back from a house party that Ino begged her to come to. She kept exclaiming that _everyone_ was going to be there and promised a ride there and back. Sakura reluctantly agreed.

That was a mistake on her part. Instead of getting a relaxing ride she was stuck walking her happy ass home in the cold. Her blond friend decided to stay later then they had planned because a 'cute' guy happened to pass her way and winked and Ino just couldn't resist. So Sakura took it upon herself to just walk herself home. Naruto offered over and over to walk her home, paranoid that something could happen to a pretty girl like her but she dismissed his paranoia and reassured him that she would be fine since her house was only a few blocks away. She'd promised she'd call him when she got home to make sure she was safe and okay.

The green street light shone brighter and brighter as she walked closer to the corner. She looked across to the other block to see the red hand shining back at her. She pressed the crosswalk button impatiently before leaning on it with her upper forearm, waiting for it to turn into the green walking man.

"This is taking forever." Sakura grumbled, pushing herself off of the button before looking left and right down the streets. She checked again just to make sure no cars were coming before stepping off the curb between the two thick white lines.

No cars are coming so I see no harm walking she thought to herself. She closed her eyes slightly and let out a big yawn.

And that's when she heard the screeching of tires and her world blacked out.

000

"Hey! Hey! Girl wake up, don't be dead please, I ain't nowhere near a good place to bury you."

Sakura groaned, who the hell was talking so damn loud? What the hell happened? Why did her body feel so damn _heavy_?

"Hey you're alive! OmiJashin fuck yes!"

Sakura—with great effort—slowly opened her eyes to see the silhouette of a man hovering over her. Was she dead? Was this an angel, here to take her away? If it was, she was surprised to find the angel cussing so much.

Then she remembered. This was _no angel_. This was some idiot that didn't understand why cars had brakes, or didn't know how to swerve away to avoid hitting someone. This was the idiot that hit her _with his car._

_Sakura had been run over._

The pinkette opened her mouth—the silhouette of the idiot leaned closer to hear whatever she was going to say.

_"…I… hope y-you… have… a lawyer…__**.**__"_


	3. Chapter 3

Better late than never right? But still, sorry for the delay, I'm really just making up this story as I go so it takes me a while to think up of a new chapter without it leading me to a dead end. I have a very rough outline of what I want to do with this story but if you wanna suggest anything, I'm open to it too.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

Chapter 3

of all the stupid things

"Hidan, of all the stupid shit you've done, this is the icing on the fucken cake."

"Shut up, you're not helping!"

"I don't know why I should, un. Does it look like I want to be involved with this mess? I should just walk away now and leave you to take care of the dying girl in your trunk."

"Deidara you heartless piece of shit you wouldn't dare… _and she's not dying_!"

In the panic of things, Hidan had hoped his long time friend Deidara would help him out with his… _accident_. But the blonde was proving more frustrating than anything. The silver haired man glared at his _friend_. "Don't be a dick," Hidan grinded out through clenched teeth. Deidara eyed him, then looked to the trunk they both stood in front of.

"If I help you, what's in it for me, un."

Of all nights for Deidara to be a prick, he had to choose tonight. Hidan groaned. "Man I don't fucken know, I'll suck your dick or something. You're into that kinda shit right?"

Deidara blanched, but quickly composed himself and glared at the idiot man standing a foot away. "You know what, I don't think I'd mind too much if you did," Deidara smirked as he watched Hidan's face pale, he obviously didn't expect him to take up the offer. "Just don't make any manly grunts, if you're quiet enough, I can close my eyes and pretend you're a girl, un."

The look on Hidan's was priceless, Deidara couldn't keep a straight face anymore and busted out laughing. "I'm joking you idiot! You're a sadist, you might bite my dick off or something, un."

Hidan narrowed his eyes at the laughing blonde before promptly punching him in the gut. He watched with satisfaction as Deidara fell to his knees, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. Maybe was a tad bit sadistic.

"Wh-what… the heeeeell… w-was that… f-for!" Deidara managed to wheeze out, glaring up to Hidan.

"There's an unconscious bitch in the trunk of my goddamn car, probably dead for all we fucken know, and all you can do is try to get me to suck your dick!" Hidan yelled.

A few lights flickered on in the houses next to Deidara's. Hidan paid no mind to them, but Deidara placed one hand up, as a way to tell the religious man to shut the hell up before his obnoxious voice woke the whole damn neighborhood.

"It was a joke Hidan, I—"

"Well you chose one hell of a goddamn time to find a sense of fucken humor Deidara!" Hidan raised his voice even more, and punched Deidara one last time in the gut just as he began standing up right.

Deidara bent over again and groaned. "Shut the hell… up… Hhhhhidan, un. Jusst-t… get her into… the houssse… aff-t-ter you… get up."

"After I get up? What the fuck are you talking about, I'm already standing up you fucktar—augh!" Hidan toppled over holding his groin. "You little shit, you got me right in the left nut!"

Deidara wheezed out laughter and slowly straightened his body up right. He watched with satisfaction as Hidan groaned in pain. Hmm, maybe _he _was the one with the sadistic tendencies…. Nah. But still. "That's what you get, un!"

"_Nghh whuh_…."

Both men stopped breathing and turned their heads to look the Hidan's trunk. It was still slightly ajar from Hidan showing Deidara the girl a few minutes prior their punching match. Deidara was the first to move, he took one step closer to the car, cautiously.

"Hidan." He whispered, turning his attention back to the silver haired man crouched on the ground, who's wide magenta eyes were still focused on the trunk.

Hidan managed to compose himself quickly and waddle his way over to Deidara. They both took one last step forward before Hidan placed his hands lightly atop the trunk's hood. His warm fingers felt the late night's condensation cool his skin. He swallowed, but his throat felt as dry as the sierra desert. _I've done some stupid shit in my life but Deidara is right. This is the fucken icing on my goddamn cake._

"_Nggghh ugggh… wh… what the...?" _ Again, the girl's muffled voice came through to them, causing Hidan to panic and slam the lid shut. A very audible _thud_ could be heard and both men knew it was the trunk lid slamming down onto the poor girl's head.

Neither of them moved, Hidan's hands still pressed against the trunk. The neighbor's lights flickered out one by one and crickets could be heard again once Hidan's breathing quieted down.

Deidara sighed and pressed his hands against his face. Dragging them down before kicking the silver haired man in the back on the knee.

"Hidan you're a fucken idiot, un."

This chapter really was funnier in my head. Oh well, at least its typed out and up now. I have a final in 4 hours, but instead of sleeping, I had randomly gotten the urge to type this out. So ta-da. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or any words that are missing altogether, I tend to skip words a lot o: Next chapter will be with Hidan and Deidara again, and it will be pretty short… again. I'll try to update that this weekend, when I'm procrastinating with studying for finals haaha. Naruto will also be featured soon and also the person who Hidan was mad about in the beginning of the first chapter. I'm tryna be mysterious as I can possibly be with it but I'm sure most of you will figure it out. Well until then, R&R.


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